In the times when I need an escape I usually turn to books. People think that when I read, it's just to read, for the fun of it. Sometimes I read just to read, but most of the time I read to escape. I read to get as far away from reality as I can. I know, not very mature, but there are times when I am so sick with the world that all I want to do is vanish. When I lived in Massachusettes, I was a very different person than I am know. I used to be loud, bold, high spirited and honestly didn't care what anyone thought of me. I had my group of friends, and I was happy. I danced down the hallways, I stood up for myself and others. I still read back then, but not as much as I do now. Since MA, I have changed. My friends from MA still tell me that I am the same, that I really don't seem different at all. My best friend for example, I'll call her Bestie, she has quoted numerous times that I'm the same old person, that I'm not one tad bit different, I just look older.
I am different though. I am quiet. I am shy. I am kinda awkward. I don't make friends as easily and over the years have found it harder and harder to make friends. I don't trust people as much now as I used to. I am more guarded, and because of it, I seem to withdraw from other people more. So, to try not to look like a little depressed antisocial girl, I read. Teachers thing I'm such a good kid, because I read. They don't understand. I read to forget. I read to escape. I read to pretend that everything is extremely wonderful.
I kind of have trouble connecting with people my own age. I find it very difficult to talk to them. I get along much better with people who are older than me. That's not always an easy thing to deal with. I'm not saying I'm a depressed kid, yes I have my lows, everyone does, but I just can't handle life sometimes. I need my escape. Some people have music, some cooking, some painting, running, etc. etc. but for me, when I need to have the world disappear, I turn to books. Teach is going to read this, along with B-Ball, Dance, Oops, Absentee, Canada and Blondie. Hope it doesn't change their view of me, though it might. I'm not so wonderful just because I read, I just need to not have to think every now and then. Until next time, I bid you adieu.
Like you, my love of reading is sometimes an escape. Books transport us to new worlds, and we meet new people...I LOVE to read. I would rather read than do almost anything else. I definitely would rather read than grade papers. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think that if you find people your age who are like-minded, who love to read too, you may be less inclined to be "anti-social." I don't think you are anti-social--although you are quiet. I think you are in a holding pattern, a waiting room of life, so to speak, when it comes to school and friends here in Florida. You are a bright, creative person, and I am sure you will find your niche.
OMG I am DYING. Love the names you came up with!
ReplyDeleteAnd as for friends go, just be yourself, and the rest will come after...
I agree with Katie and Teach (and I absolutely love my name). This post did not change how i feel about you so do not worry about that :). I agree that we all have our own escapes and I love dancing so I do that, and the best part is I do not do it for anyone else. I do it for myself, in my room with headphones on and I dance like no one is watching. Sometimes doing the things you love will make you happier than always trying to be who you think people want you to be. (when i say "you" I mean people in general). I pretty much wrote a blog under your blog haha. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteThanks Teach. I don't really feel like at this point in my life making friends is really that big of a concern. I feel like after i graduate, the friends I make in college might make more of a difference. I have one best friend now, and I've known her for about 5 or 6 years.
ReplyDeleteDancer, I am glad you like the names. I thought those would be good. =) I do just act like myself. I scare lots of people away like that, but I don't let it discourage me. I know that good friends come with time.
Blondie, yay. I love reading, and honestly because it's my escape, I read a lot. The problem is that sometimes I just get sick of reading. And then what? haha. I like that what people do should be for themselves not others. And I don't mind the length of the responce. I like to read. =)
I agree with KB, be yourself. :)
ReplyDeleteI try to. I mostly am myself. Never really change who I am, I just hold my full awesomeness back from certain people. hehe
ReplyDelete