S.A.F.E.T.Y. Dance.

Alohaaaaa!!!! So, incase you didn't notice, it's an 80's day for me. Gotta love the classics. ^__^ So today has been a really really really really really (you get the point) Really good day. I got a wonderful surprise this morning on my bf's blog. Bad-Ass really is an awesome guy. So, I already blogged about his blog, so I figured I would be random. Not like that is new at all. So, I have been writing a little more, and SK (shining knight) and I are a bit closer. We had a mini spat yesterday, mainly over the past, but we are still close. Which is a very good thing, because yes he may not be the greatest guy ever, but he's a good friend. He's honest which I respect. He's a good guy, I think. So, I guess my life isn't really that different. I'm making Bad-Ass some presents for his birthday which is in 11 days, on October 1st. That's right, he's older than me by 4 days. ^__^ So we are both libra's which is cool. Okay, I lied... It's not completely an 80's day. I'm now listening to No Rain by Blind Melon. One hit wonder. Thank you VH1. I don't know why I am in such a good mood. I can't stop smiling, and all day I've just had this goofy smile on my face. Not that I'm complaining. It's a lot better than breaking down from the depression. A LOT better. I really can't wait until October. I can't wait to go back to MA, and be back in my proper place... Too bad it's only for 4 days. :( I am never going to want to come back home. But, hey  it's better than not going at all. Plus I get to see my awesome cousin get married, which is wonderful. And I get to see the rest of the family which is.... Well, we don't all see eye to eye, but it could be worst. I'm just the dorky weird bookworm of the family, so they don't really... Well, act like they like me? No. Well, I 'ave to go to la clase de espanol. Adios!

Btw... It's Loser by Beck now.
BYEEEEEEE

That Will Be Us One Day, In The Kitchen Going, "Blah blah blah, blah blah blah..."

Well, I am just going to post a quick post, and then maybe another at lunch. So, this is mainly just for one person, and he knows who he is.

I read your post, and it made me teary eyed again. And I almost squeeked... Again. hahahaha. I have to say, I think your blog posts are getting better and better and better and should keep getting even more better. ^__^ I loved your post, and I have to say, I can't wait to get that letter. I love youuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And you are awesome.

I'm a Puppy for Your Love

ALOHA!!!!! Sorry, that was a bit in your face... Well, I decided to write a short blog, but knowing me, it might end up being longer than I intended. So, I just read the latest post of Bad-Ass, since he has a blog.. And I must say, it was so cute that it honestly made me start to cry. hahaha. *weepy* He wrote to "nobody" since "nobody" would read it but me... Well, he wrote in there that during college he's going to ask me to marry him. Now, I've already talked to him, about marriage, and I already know that he wants to marry me, but for some reason it was different reading it. It made my heart skip and hiccup and I made a funny little squeeky gasping for air noise (which made me laugh.) I am now in the library writing this, listening to Dave Matthews Band Lie In Our Graves. Great upbeat song, and I am swiviling around in the chair. haha. I have to say simply, that I am in a good mood. You know, it really is something knowing that there is someone out there who loves you, and who wants to be with you, despite all your flaws. There is nothing like the feeling of being accepted and loved just as you are, without needing to change. Because really, for love to be true, you shouldn't need to change, and with me, Bad-Ass doesn't expect me to change. He loves me, just as I am. And he wants me to stay just as I am. He doesn't care about my flaws (they don't bother him at all) and he shows it. Honestly, he makes my heart click its metaphorical heels. He makes me feel as light as the air I breathe, and he listens. He makes me feel like every single word I speak, is important and special. It's amazing. I don't understand how people are capable of feeling that much emotion. Like, how does it work? How? And I have to say, we are a really lucky species, to be able to feel the things we feel. Honestly, I am pretty cheery right now, and after reading that post, my day became the best day ever. I literally feel like jumping in the air and clicking my heels and laughing and crying all at the same time, buttt if I did that right now, everyone in the library would think that I was seriously insane. hahaha. >.< But, that's how I feel inside. So I am pretty happy. I don't really think I can think of anything else to say. Oh yeah, except that if anyone has any advice, Bad-Ass (http://archerthesniper.blogspot.com/)  could use some help on the topic of engagement rings... Yeah he likes to look ahead.  ^__^
Well, caio until I write again.

Have a beautiful day!

She said, "Maybe there's a bit of me waiting for a bit of you. baby."

Alohaaaa!!!!!! So once again, my title is a line from a song called Middle of Nowhere by Hot Hot Heat. I am currently listening to it and think it is a fantastic song, so check it out. Anywho, so my friend, whom I will call KittyKat (Kitty Cat Blogs), has a blog!!! YAYYYY!!!!!!! So he has a blog which is cool, and the funny thing is that he has had one for a while now, but didn't know he did. And he had never posted a blog, and posted his first one last night, so congrats!!!!!! So life is pretty good I spose. I have been trying to work on my writing and breaking that damn writing block which has been with me since around January. GRRRR!!!!!!! I hate writing blocks. They are completely not fair!!! So, I wrote a paragraph the other day from a writing prompt I found on pw.org. Then my SK (shining knight) read it and told me that he honestly thought that it was really good and not to change a single thing about it. By the way, don't know if I mentioned it before but SK is in my life again. We were apart for a while, but we decided to be friends, and it is surprisingly working out really well. ^__^ I have to be honest, it really is wonderful to have him back. He is the most arrogant, straight forward, brilliant guy I've met, and he is an AMAZING writer. Seriously, he could be an award winner he's just that good. So, I had him read it and he thought it was great, which considering how amazing of a writer he is, meant a lot to me, because from knowing him, I know that he isn't just saying it to make me feel good. He's incapible of telling you a not so honest opinion, which I have to say, I respect. I look up to him. He doesn't seem like the nicest guy, and he does have his problems, but he is a really good guy to have on your side. He will always tell you the honest truth, which is something that is kind of hard to come by these days.
So, Bad-Ass and I are extremely close, and have been considering trying a relationship. Yes, it would be another long distance thing, but we have a really strong connection that is hard for me to describe. He and I think alike, but I am strong in ways he is not, and vice versa. We balance eachother out. He is really amazing and funny and great, and the number one thing.. He ALWAYS has time for me. Not once, has he not been there for me when I needed or wanted his company. He has always made time for me, which is a very important quality. He's pretty awesome. He was born 4 days before me, and we share the same zodiac sign (libra) and we just get along really well. He makes me feel good about myself, which with my low self-esteem, is not a bad thing at all. He also helps keep the depression at bay which is awesome. I haven't broken down in a while which I really appriciate. I hate it when I get in that dark cloud state. It is like nothing else I know. It's really not cool... Well, that's an understatement... Just for no reason wanting to scream and sobbing because even though nothing is wrong, your brain is feeling pain and sorrow and you have no idea what is wrong you just can't think or even breathe because you are crying too hard, and everything just hurts, physically and emotionally... It really sucks. And the amount of pain I experience when I have my breakdowns,takes my breath away. I am always shocked after by how badly it hurt. And the older I get, the more painful it seems to be getting. Doesn't happen as often, but when it does it is hell on earth. It is like someone is in my heart ripping it to shreds and tearing me apart. It's... I can't even properly describe it. It really is like nothing else I can explain. I have nothing to compare it to. Only those who have experienced it understand what I am talking about. It's like you have fallen into the lowest pit on earth, and it just keeps getting lower and lower, and you just keep sinking down down, until you are lost within yourself. But it's not just confusing, it's painful. I can't stand it. It really is I think the top thing I would change about myself if I could. Even though I have a low self-esteem, I am pretty content with myself. I just hate the depression.

Well, I realize that this blog has kind of been random, but I have to get to class.
Later!!!

All We Are, Is Wasting Hours, Until The Sun Comes Up, It's All Ours

Aloha! Well, once again change has appeared, and swept through my life. So, I had previously talked about my bf Gamer... Well, Gamer and I are no longer together. The long distance thing wasn't working, sadly, because he really is a great guy. So, Gamer and I were together for 8 months, and then two nights ago, we decided to have a talk. And at the same time, we both said the exact same thing. We both had decided that the long distance wasn't working, however, both of us had the same idea that we are going to be friends, and maybe when I move up to where he lives, for college, we can try dating again, that way long distance can't get in the way. Sad, but not really, because I still get to have him in my life. Infact, in October I get to hang out with him when I go to MA for my cousin's wedding. ^__^

            So, other updates on my life. Let's see. School has started again, and it is okay. I guess, I mean I can't really complain. It's as good as junior year can be. I have been having trouble writing lately. I havn't been able to write anything good in a year. Everytime I go to pick up a pen and write, nothing comes out. Absolutely nothing. It's a blank slate. So, I have been trying to find inspiration. I need to "slap" myself and get my brain working again. I desperatly need to write something. I can feel it. I'm deprived of writing, and I really need to write, but I can't and it's killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          Also, I will talk a little about B.A. (bad-ass) because he is very important to me, incase you havn't noticed. So Bad-ass is pretty awesome lately. Him and I are still really close, and he has proven that he is a wonderful friend, and I am honestly thankful to have him in my life. He's pretty fucking awesome. ^__^ It's impossible to be unhappy when he's around. Sadly though, he isn't exactly close by. Another long distance friendship. But I think it's going to work out. We just click. We pretty much have the same thought process, except I am more focused in school, where he is more of the daydreamer. Well, I have much more to say, but lunch is almost over and I need to go to class.

Au revoir!

P.S. If you didn't already know, the title of this blog post is a line from one of my favorite songs, Say Goodbye by Dave Matthews Band.

Seeing Crimson

         HEYYYYY EVERYBODDDYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I'm in a really good mood. So today, I went to Harvard. ^___^  It was absolutely amazing. It was as amazing as I always dreamed it would be. It was the first campus that I have been to where the minute I stepped on campus, I felt home. I could see myself at BU, but Harvard I felt like I belonged there. Almost everything about it was perfect. And Harvard Square had pretty much everything you could want, and Boston was only about 11ish minutes away, and the subway was in the Square. I absolutely loved it. I learned a lot about the adminissions, that made everything seem a bit better, and less stressful. I absolutely loved it! I don't really know what else to say. I might write more about it later. Later!

         GO HARVARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_______^
 

Medford and Beantown

               Hello there! Well, right now I am on vacation at my grandfathers house in Rhode Island. It is absolutely wonderful here, and one of the things we planned on doing was visiting some colleges. Today we went to Tufts University and Boston University. :)
                Tufts was our first stop, and before visiting, I have to say, I honestly didn't really know anything about it. All I knew was that their mascot is an elephant. Haha. Tufts is located in Medford, MA, and is actually really nice. The campus is a bit traditional in that way that all the buildings are surrounding the quad, which was an aspect I really liked. When we first started the tour, we had the Assistant Director of Admissions, I'll call him Ball of Energy (or BOE for short), talk to us. He was about 26-ish, and I have to say, I will probably talk about him most of the time I write about my experience at Tufts, because he really made a difference. He began by making a few jokes and at first I was a bit hesitant, thinking "Oh great, this should be interesting." Well, interesting it was. BOE was extremely energetic, and very hyper. He spoke quickly and went off topic a little bit. But none of it was a bad thing. He was so energetic and bouncy that you couldn't help but pay attention to him. He got very serious at some points and talked in a way that seemed like he was teaching a class. All I could think about was, "Man, I could listen to this guy talk ALL day." He was so interesting, and fascinating to watch and listen to, and he really had a way of connecting. I can't even fully describe how amazing and experience it was. He was truly captivating. After he spoke to us, which lasted an hour (wish it had been longer), we went on a tour. By the way I don't think I mentioned it, but I am staying with my grandfather in RI, who I will call Duck. Also, Duck was going on the tours with me. Anyway, after the talk, as I was saying, we went on a tour of the campus. It was very nice, and very comfortable. Also, it was very quiet which I liked. One of the things I really liked about Tufts, was the library. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a book worm. Well the library at Tufts was split up into parts. There was a section called the Reading Room, which was where you would go to study if you wanted complete silence. That part of the library is open till 3 am. Then there was the Conversation Room, which was where you would go if you were studying with a group or wanted to talk to a friend while you were working. Then there was the library cafe, if you wanted a loud study environment. The cafe, of course had coffee and pastries. Also, something really awesome about the library that was cool, is they have a librarian for every subject. For example, if you were studying Sociology, you would find the sociology librarian and her job would be to know the best resources for sociology. I thought that was really awesome. We didn't stay for the whole tour, because we wanted to grab some lunch before heading to BU.

                        When we got to the BU campus we parked the car and I actually saw someone who had graduated from my school in 2010. It was really funny. Then we went to a restaurant for lunch called Eastern Standard. It was good. After we went over to BU and had a woman talk to us about the school. I won't really talk about that because after BOE, she was really boring. :(  So after she spoke, and drove me crazy using the same phrase over and over again, we went on a tour of the campus. I liked that the campus was city style yet it was all together. I thought that was really nice. I think my favorite thing about the campus itself was the housing. There were dorms, that were as good as any dorm would be, and then for sophmore, junior and senior year, they had the choices of dorms, brownstone apartments, and high end loftish apartments. I thought that was really awesome. :)
              It was a great day and I had a ton of fun seeing the colleges. Well, I've got to go. Heading to Harvard tomorrow. :D


Hasta la vista, baby!