S.A.F.E.T.Y. Dance.

Alohaaaaa!!!! So, incase you didn't notice, it's an 80's day for me. Gotta love the classics. ^__^ So today has been a really really really really really (you get the point) Really good day. I got a wonderful surprise this morning on my bf's blog. Bad-Ass really is an awesome guy. So, I already blogged about his blog, so I figured I would be random. Not like that is new at all. So, I have been writing a little more, and SK (shining knight) and I are a bit closer. We had a mini spat yesterday, mainly over the past, but we are still close. Which is a very good thing, because yes he may not be the greatest guy ever, but he's a good friend. He's honest which I respect. He's a good guy, I think. So, I guess my life isn't really that different. I'm making Bad-Ass some presents for his birthday which is in 11 days, on October 1st. That's right, he's older than me by 4 days. ^__^ So we are both libra's which is cool. Okay, I lied... It's not completely an 80's day. I'm now listening to No Rain by Blind Melon. One hit wonder. Thank you VH1. I don't know why I am in such a good mood. I can't stop smiling, and all day I've just had this goofy smile on my face. Not that I'm complaining. It's a lot better than breaking down from the depression. A LOT better. I really can't wait until October. I can't wait to go back to MA, and be back in my proper place... Too bad it's only for 4 days. :( I am never going to want to come back home. But, hey  it's better than not going at all. Plus I get to see my awesome cousin get married, which is wonderful. And I get to see the rest of the family which is.... Well, we don't all see eye to eye, but it could be worst. I'm just the dorky weird bookworm of the family, so they don't really... Well, act like they like me? No. Well, I 'ave to go to la clase de espanol. Adios!

Btw... It's Loser by Beck now.
BYEEEEEEE

That Will Be Us One Day, In The Kitchen Going, "Blah blah blah, blah blah blah..."

Well, I am just going to post a quick post, and then maybe another at lunch. So, this is mainly just for one person, and he knows who he is.

I read your post, and it made me teary eyed again. And I almost squeeked... Again. hahahaha. I have to say, I think your blog posts are getting better and better and better and should keep getting even more better. ^__^ I loved your post, and I have to say, I can't wait to get that letter. I love youuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And you are awesome.

I'm a Puppy for Your Love

ALOHA!!!!! Sorry, that was a bit in your face... Well, I decided to write a short blog, but knowing me, it might end up being longer than I intended. So, I just read the latest post of Bad-Ass, since he has a blog.. And I must say, it was so cute that it honestly made me start to cry. hahaha. *weepy* He wrote to "nobody" since "nobody" would read it but me... Well, he wrote in there that during college he's going to ask me to marry him. Now, I've already talked to him, about marriage, and I already know that he wants to marry me, but for some reason it was different reading it. It made my heart skip and hiccup and I made a funny little squeeky gasping for air noise (which made me laugh.) I am now in the library writing this, listening to Dave Matthews Band Lie In Our Graves. Great upbeat song, and I am swiviling around in the chair. haha. I have to say simply, that I am in a good mood. You know, it really is something knowing that there is someone out there who loves you, and who wants to be with you, despite all your flaws. There is nothing like the feeling of being accepted and loved just as you are, without needing to change. Because really, for love to be true, you shouldn't need to change, and with me, Bad-Ass doesn't expect me to change. He loves me, just as I am. And he wants me to stay just as I am. He doesn't care about my flaws (they don't bother him at all) and he shows it. Honestly, he makes my heart click its metaphorical heels. He makes me feel as light as the air I breathe, and he listens. He makes me feel like every single word I speak, is important and special. It's amazing. I don't understand how people are capable of feeling that much emotion. Like, how does it work? How? And I have to say, we are a really lucky species, to be able to feel the things we feel. Honestly, I am pretty cheery right now, and after reading that post, my day became the best day ever. I literally feel like jumping in the air and clicking my heels and laughing and crying all at the same time, buttt if I did that right now, everyone in the library would think that I was seriously insane. hahaha. >.< But, that's how I feel inside. So I am pretty happy. I don't really think I can think of anything else to say. Oh yeah, except that if anyone has any advice, Bad-Ass (http://archerthesniper.blogspot.com/)  could use some help on the topic of engagement rings... Yeah he likes to look ahead.  ^__^
Well, caio until I write again.

Have a beautiful day!

She said, "Maybe there's a bit of me waiting for a bit of you. baby."

Alohaaaa!!!!!! So once again, my title is a line from a song called Middle of Nowhere by Hot Hot Heat. I am currently listening to it and think it is a fantastic song, so check it out. Anywho, so my friend, whom I will call KittyKat (Kitty Cat Blogs), has a blog!!! YAYYYY!!!!!!! So he has a blog which is cool, and the funny thing is that he has had one for a while now, but didn't know he did. And he had never posted a blog, and posted his first one last night, so congrats!!!!!! So life is pretty good I spose. I have been trying to work on my writing and breaking that damn writing block which has been with me since around January. GRRRR!!!!!!! I hate writing blocks. They are completely not fair!!! So, I wrote a paragraph the other day from a writing prompt I found on pw.org. Then my SK (shining knight) read it and told me that he honestly thought that it was really good and not to change a single thing about it. By the way, don't know if I mentioned it before but SK is in my life again. We were apart for a while, but we decided to be friends, and it is surprisingly working out really well. ^__^ I have to be honest, it really is wonderful to have him back. He is the most arrogant, straight forward, brilliant guy I've met, and he is an AMAZING writer. Seriously, he could be an award winner he's just that good. So, I had him read it and he thought it was great, which considering how amazing of a writer he is, meant a lot to me, because from knowing him, I know that he isn't just saying it to make me feel good. He's incapible of telling you a not so honest opinion, which I have to say, I respect. I look up to him. He doesn't seem like the nicest guy, and he does have his problems, but he is a really good guy to have on your side. He will always tell you the honest truth, which is something that is kind of hard to come by these days.
So, Bad-Ass and I are extremely close, and have been considering trying a relationship. Yes, it would be another long distance thing, but we have a really strong connection that is hard for me to describe. He and I think alike, but I am strong in ways he is not, and vice versa. We balance eachother out. He is really amazing and funny and great, and the number one thing.. He ALWAYS has time for me. Not once, has he not been there for me when I needed or wanted his company. He has always made time for me, which is a very important quality. He's pretty awesome. He was born 4 days before me, and we share the same zodiac sign (libra) and we just get along really well. He makes me feel good about myself, which with my low self-esteem, is not a bad thing at all. He also helps keep the depression at bay which is awesome. I haven't broken down in a while which I really appriciate. I hate it when I get in that dark cloud state. It is like nothing else I know. It's really not cool... Well, that's an understatement... Just for no reason wanting to scream and sobbing because even though nothing is wrong, your brain is feeling pain and sorrow and you have no idea what is wrong you just can't think or even breathe because you are crying too hard, and everything just hurts, physically and emotionally... It really sucks. And the amount of pain I experience when I have my breakdowns,takes my breath away. I am always shocked after by how badly it hurt. And the older I get, the more painful it seems to be getting. Doesn't happen as often, but when it does it is hell on earth. It is like someone is in my heart ripping it to shreds and tearing me apart. It's... I can't even properly describe it. It really is like nothing else I can explain. I have nothing to compare it to. Only those who have experienced it understand what I am talking about. It's like you have fallen into the lowest pit on earth, and it just keeps getting lower and lower, and you just keep sinking down down, until you are lost within yourself. But it's not just confusing, it's painful. I can't stand it. It really is I think the top thing I would change about myself if I could. Even though I have a low self-esteem, I am pretty content with myself. I just hate the depression.

Well, I realize that this blog has kind of been random, but I have to get to class.
Later!!!

All We Are, Is Wasting Hours, Until The Sun Comes Up, It's All Ours

Aloha! Well, once again change has appeared, and swept through my life. So, I had previously talked about my bf Gamer... Well, Gamer and I are no longer together. The long distance thing wasn't working, sadly, because he really is a great guy. So, Gamer and I were together for 8 months, and then two nights ago, we decided to have a talk. And at the same time, we both said the exact same thing. We both had decided that the long distance wasn't working, however, both of us had the same idea that we are going to be friends, and maybe when I move up to where he lives, for college, we can try dating again, that way long distance can't get in the way. Sad, but not really, because I still get to have him in my life. Infact, in October I get to hang out with him when I go to MA for my cousin's wedding. ^__^

            So, other updates on my life. Let's see. School has started again, and it is okay. I guess, I mean I can't really complain. It's as good as junior year can be. I have been having trouble writing lately. I havn't been able to write anything good in a year. Everytime I go to pick up a pen and write, nothing comes out. Absolutely nothing. It's a blank slate. So, I have been trying to find inspiration. I need to "slap" myself and get my brain working again. I desperatly need to write something. I can feel it. I'm deprived of writing, and I really need to write, but I can't and it's killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          Also, I will talk a little about B.A. (bad-ass) because he is very important to me, incase you havn't noticed. So Bad-ass is pretty awesome lately. Him and I are still really close, and he has proven that he is a wonderful friend, and I am honestly thankful to have him in my life. He's pretty fucking awesome. ^__^ It's impossible to be unhappy when he's around. Sadly though, he isn't exactly close by. Another long distance friendship. But I think it's going to work out. We just click. We pretty much have the same thought process, except I am more focused in school, where he is more of the daydreamer. Well, I have much more to say, but lunch is almost over and I need to go to class.

Au revoir!

P.S. If you didn't already know, the title of this blog post is a line from one of my favorite songs, Say Goodbye by Dave Matthews Band.